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Nice Power: Authenticity in Leadership

How authenticity in leadership can shape the future of a diverse work culture

By Helen Chan and Inger Winther Johannsen


In celebration of this year’s theme of “Inspire Inclusion - how to break down barriers” for International Women’s Day, The Gallery Seoul hosted a fireside talk with 

Joy Sakurai, the Deputy Chief of Mission at the U.S. Embassy to the Republic of Korea at the Residence of the United States Ambassador to Korea.


Our lively discussion did indeed inspire inclusion. Ms. Sakurai led us in a deep dive on: diversity in leadership with a root in female leadership. Being the second in command at the U.S. Embassy, and being one of the few female diplomats to hold such a high-level office in the history of the U.S. diplomatic mission in Korea, Ms. Sakurai shared her experiences as a top-leader and her perspectives on the future of leadership.


Ms.Sakurai has been a member of the United States  Foreign Service for more than two decades Her career as a senior diplomat has included postings to multiple stations; she is presently the DCM to the U.S.  Embassy in Seoul. 


Ms. Sakurai is from the U.S. state of Hawaii and identifies as Japanese-American. 


In this article, we are the main take-aways and reflections from our talk with Ms. Sakurai on March 12, 2024.


Defying expectations: an uphill battle of restraint

In  2024, diversity is unavoidable in most corporate spaces. Yet,. we still often associate top-level leadership with a masculine energy of aggressiveness and sharp elbows. The titles of senior executive and top leadership still overwhelmingly evoke the image of Caucasian males of a certain age. A brief session with generative AI or a cursory glance at global statistics will confirm this perception as the default. 


Ms. Sakurai is an exemption to this status quo. As a woman in a senior leadership position, she  has embraced and celebrated  both female and asian energy, fusing her authenticity into her own leadership style as she rose through the chain of command as a diplomat. In comparison to the loudest-voice-in-the-room approach that is often emblematic of masculine style leadership, Ms. Sakurai’s calm yet confident demeanor can be strikingly disarming.  


When Ms. Sakurai was a  junior employee, she was often told to “speak up, Joy” and often, still even, she has been mistaken as the assistant as guests jostle for face time with  her male subordinates. For many, this can be deflating and stir up feelings of frustration with prevailing stereotypes about what a “boss” should look and act like:. ore brazen, older, more confident, maybe even a different gender.. Ms. Sakurai strove to find her own way though. At times that meant choosing restraint and quiet grace in situations of mistaken identity; and, at times, speaking up.  inspiration for others who are in similar positions but also for the leaders of the world to pause and think what real diversity looks like and how that can be achieved.


Can being nice be a power play?

Authenticity was the one word that stood out throughout the entire talk. For Ms. Sakurai, the strategy  was to stay true to who she was - to stand in her own power, so to say. This entailed figuring out what exactly that meant to her:. to find empowerment by self-acceptance and confidence in one’s self-recognized strengths. 


For Ms. Sakurai, preparedness was key to her personal strategy for success. It is part of Japanese culture to think in Kaizen - which many of us now know from Lean-management - but it is a deeper philosophy of optimization. Having that as a foundation, Ms. Sakurai would naturally analyze, optimize and look for the best standard operating procedure (SOP). Coming to a new posting today she still looks for having setup SOP’s for all core processes - including  the ones that seem minor. Preparation also meant anticipating the meeting situation, evaluating the participants needs, behaviors and reaction making it possible for her to insert herself in the conversation without having to be brazen. Finally, being well prepared helped her have the confidence to speak louder. So, preparation allowed for Ms. Sakurai to stay true to herself but still deliver professionally. In fact she has refined doing just that in her diplomatic tool box.


Ms. Sakurai’s  venn-diagram maps out an approach to finding common ground with counterparts, with the view of achieving shared goals more effectively.


Finding that  sweet spot of overlapping interests and articulating common objectives requires a great amount of people skills as well as  the ability to read the room without  necessarily taking up room, or being the loudest voice in that room. It also requires, to a great extent, a portion of humility to set aside your own needs in order to understand what your counterpart might need. 


Here, it is important to pause and underline that this is not the same as compromising on your own values or pride. Being authentic means finding your way to thrive and succeed. This means if someone steps on your toes, shows disrespect, you should of course stand your ground. However, holding your position can be achieved in different ways: louder is not always better.


For Ms. Sakurai (and, socially, for many female leaders) being aggressive in conflict does not come naturally so being snappy or confronting directly would not be the instinctive response. Ms. Sakurai also said humorously that provoking aggression with aggression may also not yield ideal results in diplomacy.  Instead, she advises to let the moment sit. At this point in her career being overlooked at first at a meeting will be an embarrassment for the person mistakenly shaking her employees hand, so gracefully let the embarrassment linger knowing this can be a teaching moment, serves the purpose better than screaming or calling out the person on their actions. Then, she builds them back up, giving everyone a chance to lower their shoulders, start over and focus on the task at hand - doing that she creates that sweet spot illustrated above. This makes “being nice” a very strong power move. It is not always easy being graceful but keeping your eyes on the ball, remembering what the purpose of the meeting is and analyzing how to get that best makes it possible and very effective. 


The glue that sticks everything together

When asked what a Deputy Chief of Mission actually does, Ms. Sakurai shared the metaphor of being the glue of the organization. This means making sure everyone knows what they should do, how their work links together and how to mend potential weaknesses.

The Gallery Seoul previously  hosted a presentation about military leadership and interestingly enough there is a resemblance to the metaphor of being glue and military leadership. The key is the notion of servant leadership. Put in a simplistic manner, it is a question of making other people good at what they do, enabling them to perform well and thereby driving  the organization toward success. Addressing leadership with this attitude is again highly purpose-driven and success is measured on results attained. 


Being “glue” also entails making sure the organization is connected and in good relations with its stakeholders are also essential parts of being this glue. Or mortar, because working on relationships - also in a  professional setup - can be like working with walls. In diplomacy, walls can be regarded as obstacles to good cooperation, therefore, the objective is to keep walls low, instead of building them high. This requires an investment in the people around you and a good eye for carving out the time in a busy schedule for an impactful interaction based on the needs of the counterpart. It comes back to understanding what people need. 


To work with stakeholder management Ms. Sakurai categorizes her stakeholders as fish, making it easier to remember and prioritize her time investments in counterparties, as well as the potential height of the walls involved in those relationships. 


Understanding how to approach whales in the venn-diagram once again becomes helpful. The ability to ascertain what could be of concern, opens opportunities to engage, and perhaps even offer helpful solutions. These pathways form the basis to ensure that hard-to-come-by opportunities to engage with a whale have impact and leave a lasting impression beyond fleeting small talk. 




Re-writing the rules of business - a bigger question than gender

Ms. Sakurai  highlighted 3 competencies where female leaders generally speaking prevails:

  • Adaptability

  • Collaboration

  • Empathy


These are competencies typically connotated with female energy. But, what if they were to be highlighted as general key leadership competencies in the future? What would our future leaders look like and how could workplaces be designed?


Looking at this, there was a clear expectation that as we move forward in a more diverse world, the rules of business are being re-written to make  room for more diverse leadership styles. A leadership style that is more purpose-driven and servant at its core. This means in a modern world it will be to a larger extent expected that leaders can motivate a diverse workforce, work with stakeholders in a globalized context and bridge generational gaps where younger generations have different approaches to work,life and the balance in between. A generation where technology also makes it possible to do this in ways older generations couldn’t even dream of and therefore struggle to grasp if not they apply a more empathetic leadership style being curious to what the younger people are actually saying. Thus, the question of what qualities of leadership is, is much bigger than gender but also refers to generational issues and personalities such as introverts vs. extroverts. What are the competencies and behaviors we notice and pay tribute to? But starting the conversation around female leadership might be a key to bring it forward and find new solutions.


Interestingly, as the talk progressed, we discovered that many leaders as they grow older, more experienced, even on the verge of retirement tend to soften. But, if softness comes with experience maybe it should be the aim to begin with? This would mean going forward that the behaviors or efforts we pay tribute might change. Challenging ourselves to look more on content than performance, looking at results and creating access for many different talents and approaches at all levels of an organization. 


Ms. Sakurai has been told to “Speak up, Joy '' more than once during her career, but at this talk she did not have to. We listened to her knowledge and experience and it was inspiring. Going forward the real task might be for leaders of the future to “listen harder”. Ms. Sakurai's leadership is a testament to the fact that you can stay true to yourself, and still find your way to power. In fact, maybe because Ms. Sakurai learned what her strengths were and played to them very smartly - not trying to be something she is not, nor ever could be - she succeeded and now can start to rewrite the rules from the inside. 


We therefore leave you with the concept of graceful leadership, the power of preparation and nice power and hope it can inspire you to find your own super power when someone asks you to speak up.


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